Doing great!

First of all, Happy New Year to all of you out there! We spent a quiet evening at home last night. We had the kids in bed by 7 and us in bed by 10:30. At this stage in my life I feel no need to stay up to officially ring in the New Year. Grant was up at 6:15 am. Enough said.

I guess I didn't make it clear before, but the Chemo happens every 3 weeks. We were told that the first week after treatment would be pretty rough, the second week Kenneth would be tired from the first week and the third week would be pretty good. So, we had envisioned him lying flat in bed the first week. So, to have him feeling as good as he does has been a wonderful blessing! We are definitely grateful for every day that he feels good. Part of his discomfort leading up to the first day of Chemo was the anticipation of what was to come. He practically made himself sick thinking of how he could/would react and how bad it all could be. When he completed that first day of injections, he was so amazed at how well he felt that a huge weight was lifted off his mind and he felt better just walking out of the doctors office! His cough has been much alleviated, which is a blessing and he has no pain to speak of.

He is having trouble sitting on our hard dining room chairs, however. Let's just say there is a lot less cushion on his end than there used to be!! His sister was quite surprised at how thin he was when she saw him this week. I guess for me it has happened more gradually. Since last year this time he has lost about 30 pounds. Part of that was him exercising and eating less the beginning of 2010, but most of the weight loss has happened in the last couple of months. NO more love handles on this guy!

One of the side effects of the medicines is that food tastes different. Plain water is very difficult to drink, so Kenneth is trying out all kinds of things to get around it- Propel, lemon water, Crystal light, etc. Sugar is not good for cancer- the cells feed off glucose, so we are trying to stay away from that. His appetite has been much less than normal; sometimes he has to make himself eat. One of the nurses said he might have to think of food as medicine for a while- to eat even when he doesn't feel like it to keep his strength up.

Kenneth is definitely more tired than normal- sleeping 10 hours or so at night (sometimes restlessly) and taking at least one nap a day. Arianna has already gotten used to having Daddy home everyday and is napping with him in the recliner every afternoon. She loves it!! (So does Daddy!)

Many of you may be wondering about hair loss. Yes, most likely that is going to happen. They say it usually happens between 2 and 4 weeks after the first treatment. So, Kenneth has a week or 2 more with hair. We've tried to warn the kids about it so they are not too scared when it happens. I worry more about Kenneth's morale at that point than anything.

Emma said this morning, "I bet Daddy's work workers miss him". What a sweet lady. At lunch time Arianna said, "Dad, I want your neck to be better. . so I can go on your head!" (She must have heard us talking about the growths that are in his neck) They know Dad is sick and they know something is different. One thing is for sure, they are loving having Dad around all the time!!! We are really going to get used to this!! In the midst of all the ugliness of this disease, what a blessing to be able to spend so much time with Kenneth after so long of him being so busy and away from us so much.

With tomorrow being Fast Sunday again, we thank those of you who are fasting on Kenneth's behalf. We really appreciate all of your encouraging emails and prayers.

Arianna napping with Dad

The kids watching a movie with Dad and loving it!

Emma and Dad looking at the computer

Snuggle time!


Playing a game


Arianna napping with Dad again just today!

Delightful days of December

Even though Kenneth was dealing with a lot of stress with the end of his semester, work pressures, health issues, we still had some pretty good times in early December. I love this time of year!! I love the weeks leading up to Christmas even more than I like the day itself. I love the music, the smells, the chocolate, the decorations, the family time. . .did I mention the chocolate!!!! But, really, I enjoy this time of year- especially with the children. It is magical.

We had a wonderful day when we picked out our Christmas tree- I guess technically that was still the end of November. We first went to Home Depot to find a tree, but they were too expensive. They were, however, having a building workshop for the kids. Since we were there, we thought it would be fun for the girls to participate. They loved it!! They built a picture frame with Dad. Next we he did a little bit of Christmas shopping and headed to the grocery store where we bought some food and our Christmas tree! While we were picking out our tree, the kids were pretending the shopping cart was the sleigh. They were taking turns being the Reindeer and Santa. The highlight of the day was when the Fire Engine just happened to pull up right next to us in the parking lot when we were tying the tree to the van. The fire fighters were out doing their shopping and came right up to us, gave the kids stickers and hats and let us take pictures with the fire engine. Grant was going crazy!! He loves trucks- fire trucks, especially!




The day we decorated the tree, Emma and Arianna decided to wear Halloween costumes. So, we have pictures of these silly girls decorating the tree in their costumes!

One of the favorite activities the kids enjoyed this December was dancing around the living room to the Christmas music.





Just after Thanksgiving, we gave Arianna the Little People Nativity as her surprise for filling up her sticker chart. (The same chart Emma had to fill up to earn her bike.) She was overjoyed! She has had so much fun playing with our different Nativity sets together. Funny little girl.

Arianna matching up the nativity sets. Bad lighting, sorry.

Some other fun times:

Emma reading to Grant. Look how grown up my little man is!!!!

Our first time Miniature golfing with the girls. They lost interest at about the 8th hole. Arianna kept asking why she couldn't play on the elephant. (They didn't like the fact that all the decorations were just that- decorations.) Grant hung out in the stroller the whole time. It was actually quite chilly for this area that night.

Daddy teaching Arianna to putt.

Painting caterpillars. They LOVE to paint!

Good news I almost forgot to share!

I almost forgot to share some good news! When we met with the Doctor this morning before the Chemo started he gave us the results of the Bone Marrow Biopsy, aka, the 'kick in the pants'. It was clear! Which means, Kenneth indeed has Stage 3 Lymphoma, not Stage 4. We are very grateful for this news. Hooray!

Makes for a long day

On Thursday, Kenneth had a procedure done to remove the fluid buildup around his right lung. As I mentioned in the last post, Kenneth has been unable to lay flat for the last 2 1/2 months. Due to the cancer, a good deal of fluid had filled the chest area and put pressure on the lung and limited its capacity. It was a fairly easy procedure- in fact, it took longer to deal with the billing and wait in the waiting room than it did for the actual procedure! Believe it or not, they removed a liter and a half!!! Picture that!!! I was hoping that this would completely eliminate the coughing, but it only lessened the intensity and frequency. Kenneth still coughs quite a bit, most likely due to the growths in his lungs. The good news is, he has been able to sleep in his own bed lying down since Thursday night!!

As I write this I am sitting by Kenneth's side at the Doctor's office where he is receiving the first round of Chemotherapy. We had to be here at the office at 8:30 am. It is now 1:30 pm and we aren't even through the first of the four drugs. They figure he might be done around 5 pm.

My dear Kenneth, who grew up on a dairy farm, delivering calves, de-horning heifers with the blood squirting all over and having experienced all the other nitty-gritty details in the life of a dairyman, has a real problem with needles. Unfortunately, this entire experience is chock-full of encounters with these necessary evils.

The nurse this morning was luckily very skilled and successfully hooked him up the first try. No fishing around like the nurses did when he had the biopsy done. That wasn't fun for Kenneth.

We aren't sure if it was nerves, the Benadryl, or the actual drug but he did have a slight reaction this morning: some nausea, chills and lowered blood pressure. We know that this is a means to an end. The process won't be fun, but we are confident that when this is all over we can enjoy life together again.

It's an interesting camraderie that you feel with the other people in the Chemo room. The room where Kenneth receives his treatments has 11 chairs. All 11 were full this morning with people receiving treatments and more people waiting for a free one. You all kind of look around and wonder what the other one has, you wonder about their families. One lady who was here receiving a treatment when Kenneth first started and was really reacting gave me a knowing wink and sweet smile with a whispered, "Good Luck" on her way out. We had all ages in here today- the youngest person was 19 and the oldest was probably in his late 70's or 80's.

We are so thankful that Kenneth's sister, Karen and her family were able to come on Friday to be with us. We had a pretty good Christmas weekend (More on that to come!) and it is a comfort to know that our children can be in their own home today with family. When we left this morning 16-month-old little Grant was screaming. He is definitely a Mama's boy and doesn't like me to leave the room, much less the house. Heck, he doesn't even like it when I take a shower for 15 minutes! I just pray that he is enjoying his day with his sisters, Aunt and cousins.

Again, to all of you who have emailed and called and commented, we appreciate your prayers, fasting, and positive thoughts on our behalf. We definitely feel a peace in the midst of this trial. We will continue to keep you updated. In the mean while, look for some posts on some of our happenings in December! We want to remember all these good times we have had as a family!

Looking forward to Spring

I know the title may seem a little strange right off (it being the week of Christmas and all) if you are not aware what is going on in our family.

Last April, Kenneth had a debilitating episode we thought originated with a gallbladder dysfunction. After a sonogram and visits with two gastroenterologists, they couldn't find anything. In September, Kenneth developed a persistent cough. At first he thought it was lingering from a cold. The nurse at work thought it might be due to the drier climate here in the West; his body was adjusting. When it continued and he was having trouble sleeping at night lying down, he finally went to a doctor in November to get it checked out. The doctor figured he had walking Pneumonia and prescribed an antibiotic. We were so thankful to FINALLY have this taken care of!! After 10 days of the antibiotic, it was evident that nothing had improved. Kenneth decided to get another opinion. This time, the second doctor's thought was that it might be severe acid reflux related to an ulcer. Huh?!? (His blood work showed that he was anemic.) She did, however, order a CT scan since the x-ray just didn't seem right. Nine days ago a CT scan was done.

Eight days ago, I was walking through Costco and got a call on my phone from Kenneth's Doctor. Kenneth was at the doctor's office but couldn't talk on the phone. I was informed that he has Stage 3 Lymphoma. I nearly lost it before I was able to compose myself enough to actually ask some questions. Lymphoma is cancer of the Lymph system- which I didn't even know until this experience. I quickly left the store, picked up the girls at Preschool and met a sobbing Kenneth back at home. It was a rough morning to say the least. We felt such despair. We had no idea what this really meant and were so afraid these might be some of our last days with Kenneth. Over the next couple of days, we shed more tears than we ever had before. Our poor children have never seen their parents cry so much! Emma kept asking why we had so many tears.

This past week has been filled with CT scans, biopsies, blood work, echocardiograms, PET scans, and Dr.'s appointments. It has been such a whirlwind and one that I would never wish on anyone. Knowledge is power, however, and with the tests came some answers and some reassurances. As of late this afternoon, Kenneth has been officially diagnosed with Stage 3, Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, growing at an intermediate rate. It has not moved into any organs, which was very good news. The Oncologist says it is a 'garden variety' Lymphoma; highly treatable with a very sunny prognosis. He feels very optimistic that with an 18-week run of Chemotherapy (6 rounds), Kenneth will be able to get this into remission and very possibly be completely cured.

Today, the Oncologist also performed a Bone Marrow Biopsy. (Talk about feeling like you had a swift kick in the pants!!) We don't have the results from that yet, but the Doctor is hopeful that the cancer has not moved there; it was more a precautionary measure. If the cancer is also found there, it bumps him up to Stage 4 and means more measures will have to be taken in order to get this under control.

From day one, we have been overwhelmed with the love, faith and prayers which have been poured out to us and on our behalf. Kenneth's sister organized a family fast last Sunday, which extended out to include over 100 people. Kenneth's name has been put on Prayer roles in at least 10 temples. We have felt peace come over us these last few days that was bestowed because of the faith of others. We have also been overwhelmed by the love and support shown to us by our ward and preschool friends here in California. We have someone organizing all the babysitting so we don't even have to think about it. We have had people bring us meals and offer to do everything from laundry to yard work and everything in between. The power of prayer is real. Thank you to all of you for your continued prayers on our behalf.

One of the worst symptoms for Kenneth (and the one that prompted Kenneth to find out what REALLY was going on inside of him) is a horrible cough. We now know that the cough is due to a large amount of fluid around the right lung which is compressing the lung to only 1/3 of its capacity. Needless to say he is having a horrible time with this cough. (Kenneth has been sleeping in the recliner 98% of the time for the last 2 1/2 months because he simply cannot breathe lying down.) Well, tomorrow, he will have that fluid removed through an outpatient procedure. The doctor figures there is about 2 liters of fluid to be removed! We are excited to have that happen so Kenneth can relax and enjoy the Christmas weekend.

Monday, he will begin Chemo therapy. No, it will not be fun, but we are very hopeful that it will be the means of returning him to good health. We are thankful that Kenneth's sister and brother will be able to come out this week and next to spend time with us and to help us out.

Through this week, we have found so many things to be thankful for. Some of the things on are mind are:

• The true meaning of the Christmas season- hope, faith and love born of our Savior
• A Heavenly Father who sees fit to try us and help us become who we need to be
• A Savior who has descended below all things that He might know how to succor us
• Friends and family who support us
• The power of fasting and prayer
• Doctors and researchers who dedicate their lives to helping others
• The fact that Kenneth completed his Masters degree just days before this diagnosis
• The peace of the gospel; knowing that no matter what happens we will be together forever
• The peace that comes through the scriptures and the hymns
• The fact that I am NOT pregnant at this time like I have been at this stage of my baby's life
• The kindness and generosity of Kenneth's mangers and coworkers (The same morning of the bad news came the offer for permanent employment here. We had been so worried about whether or not he could/should accept the offer given his diagnosis. They have been amazing and encouraging. They told him to take as much time off as he needed to return to health.)

So, we are looking forward to Spring. This will definitely be a period of 'Winter' in our lives. But, no matter how cold the Winter, Spring always comes.

Neal A Maxwell said:

"God, as a loving Father, will stretch our souls at times. The soul is like a violin string; it makes music only when it is stretched (Eric Hoffer). God will tutor us by trying us because He loves us, not because of indifference."

End of October and November

The fall around these parts is the rainy season. In the Summer we had NO rain; Kind of a strange concept for this Florida girl. Truthfully, it has been a nice change of pace for us to have some different weather (Not that we didn't LOVE 70 degrees with clear skies all the time!). The girls liked going out in the rain and splashing around, playing cushion jump (I think they call it) and doing some indoor activities.
For Thanksgiving, my Sister, Wendy and her husband and daughter came to visit. It was such fun to have them with us!!! This was my first year making the Thanksgiving meal. We have always been at Kenneth's parents' or somewhere else. I enjoyed the culinary challenge and Kenneth made me feel fabulous all weekend with his rave reviews of the food. I think my favorite part about this time of year is kicking of the Christmas season. Sure, I like Thanksgiving alright, but I LOVE the Christmas season. And, as soon as Thanksgiving is over it's time for Christmas!!! I probably enjoy the season more than the actual day itself I think! This year we kicked off the season by going to the lighting of temple hill in Oakland. It was fun to attend the musical program and to see the lights on the first day of the season. So, enjoy our November in review:

Emma and Arianna playing in the rain in our backyard.

Is that the face of pure joy or what?!

Painting: a favorite rainy day activity

Arianna was really quiet one day and I went to find out what she was doing and this is what I found! She was putting shoes on all of her animals! At least she wasn't destroying something!

Come join the cereal party! This is usually the scene in our house circa 6:05 am.

Riding bikes on the back patio. One day Emma ran her bike into Arianna's tricycle and said- boy there's a lot of traffic out here! (Can you tell we have been in DC and The Bay area the last 1 1/2 years of her life!?)

Here is Emma on her new bike. It took her 3 months to earn it! (Sticker charts and learning sight words)

Pillow jump!!!

Future MD?

The girls helping to make treats for Thanksgiving weekend.

Grant got a hold of one in the process!

Arianna snuggling Uncle John.


Emma snuggling Uncle John watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. He was a popular man around here.

While we (my sister, my neice and myself) were busy doing this on Thanksgiving. . .

Emma was doing this!!!!

Mikelle looked over and said, "Do you want her doing that?" Luckily nothing broke.


Be. . Our. . . Guest! Be Our Guest! Put our Service to the test! Here is our Thanksgiving Feast!

Here we all are sitting down to eat.

My sister Wendy and I with my Uncle Dwight and Aunt Amelia. They came down to see us all the day after Thanksgiving.

The children covering Daddy with the Christmas fabric. (Grant is getting a molar, can you tell?)

Lights at the Oakland Temple

Here we are in front of the temple. It happened to be pretty chilly that night.

October Travels

The kids and I were gone most of October- 3 weeks of it!

First, I drove -all alone- to Las Vegas with the children. I was a little nervous doing it all by myself, but I also really wanted to visit my sisters who live in Las Vegas, so that won out. Google maps said it would take 9 1/2 hours and I actually made it is just 10 hours 15 minutes. Not too bad, I'd say!!!
We stayed at my sister's house for a whole week. My sister, Katrina, has 4 children- some older and some around the same ages as mine. It was fun to have so much time together. We hadn't seen each other for 2 years! The kids had a lot of fun playing together and of course, my kids loved playing with so many new and different toys! My sister, Wendy, also lives in Vegas. We were able to spend a few evenings with her and her husband, which was a blast. My kids officially LOVE John and Wendy!

Here is Ryen, Katrina's youngest with Grant and Emma in Katrina's backyard. They had so much fun on that playground!

Here is Emma manhandling Grant (oh-excuse me, that is her way of helping him!) Andie is on the slide with Arianna in the background.

Once again- manhandling. Poor little guy. I also have to say that if I lived in Las Vegas, I would totally have astroturf in my backyard! Look how awesome that is!


Here is Joe, Katrina's oldest son, watching little Grant.

Ethan on the slide. Isn't he a cutie!

After our wonderful week in Vegas, Katrina got in the car with us and we drove to Salt Lake for my niece's wedding. All of my siblings were there for the event- which is pretty darn special!! We hadn't been altogether for 6 1/2 years; my wedding was the last time. I wish we had had more time to actually spend together, but alas, such is life. My mom did put on a nice after-the-wedding-dinner so we could all be together at a relaxed event. The kids and I stayed with my sister and brother-in-law, Jason and Rachel. I wish there had been more time to spend with all these people that we love!

The Bride, Brittney

My brother, Karl, holding Grant (he was starving for a Daddy figure in his life by this point!) and Ryan, my nephew in the foreground.

My sister, Wendy, and Emma

Mikelle, my niece; Katrina, my sister; Natasha, my niece; and my mom at the Dinner my mom put on.

The kids playing with their cousin, Natasha.

My big brothers and me

My brother, Glen making my children happy as can be with super stroller rides.

The crazy driver with the other 2 kids.

My kids attacking their uncle Karl.

They were having so much fun crawling all over him!!

After the wedding, I stayed in Salt Lake at my mom's for a couple of days and was able to see a some dear friends who live in the Salt Lake area and spend a little bit more time with Rachel and her daughter, Grace.
Here we are at the Living Aquarium in Sandy with my sister-in-law, Rachel and her daughter, Grace.
Arianna riding a frog at the Aquarium.

Picnic lunch with Rachel after the Aquarium outing.

Visiting Holly and her two little munchkins (Amorie also came over with her little guy) Holly let Emma play with her guitar. Such fun to spend the day together! Thanks for having us over, Holly, and for the fun cookie project!

Finally, after being away from him for almost 2 weeks, Kenneth flew in to join us! Oh, we sure missed him!!! That is the longest we had ever been away from him. We then drove up to Logan to spend a few days with Kenneth's sister, Karen and her family. Everything was great until a couple of days into our visit we ALL got the stomach bug. It was horrible!!! Arianna got it the worst, poor little thing. She couldn't keep anything down for 48 hours. We even had to stay an extra day so we were healthy enough to drive back home. Consequently, we drove all the way from Logan, Utah to our home in Milpitas, California on my birthday. 14 hours. Fun. Actually, because the kids were still kind of weak- getting over being sick- they did not have their normal energy, so didn't mind sitting in the car all day watching movies and the trip was quite nice.

Cookout in the Logan Canyon- it was freezing!!!

Daddy and the girls in the Logan Canyon- I love this picture!

Grant playing with Joslyn, his cousin

Tyler reading Grant a book (also a cousin)

This is how the girls spent a lot of the time at Karen's house. So sad.

We saw this scene on the drive home. Herding cattle in the wilderness. Very cool.

Reno, Nevada Temple. We stopped here on the way home as a break. It was nice to just walk around the grounds.

Arianna in front of the temple.

It was good to be home again after being gone for so long. It really is true what Dorothy discovered- There's no place like home. . .