I have been blessed to have textbook/angel babies. I will start this post out by recognizing that because I realize that my struggles with infant sleep are minor, if NOTHING, compared to what others have experienced. I would venture to say that Heavenly Father knows me and knows that I could NOT handle a colicky baby. It would put me in the loony bin. I praise all of you who have experienced caring for a fussy baby and know that you are far better people than I.
That being said, I would like to muse a little on infant sleep. . .or lack thereof. It is nice to get some of these thoughts written down and maybe it will help someone or just give you a laugh at my neurotic mommy brain!
When Emma was a baby, I really had no idea when and how or how much a baby was supposed to sleep. I just let her do what she wanted and she really did pretty well. I remember just having to feed her during the night and she would go right back to sleep (except a few times and even then it was probably only 15 minutes of crying or so) My favorite part of the day when Emma was 1-3 months old was our morning nap on the couch together. Oh, if I had to guess what heaven would be like, that would probably be it!! We lived in a little apartment with a picture window in the family room and a huge tree out front and the morning sunshine would filter through the leaves like a dream. . .sigh. But, when you have kids as close as we have, you don't really get those experiences with the subsequent children. I had one such experience with Grant when we was a couple weeks old and everyone went to church except us. That was nice- my one token "heaven" nap with my first-born son.
Before Emma was born someone gifted me a copy of "The Secrets of the Baby- Whisperer". I didn't think much about it until Emma was 5 months old or so and I wanted her to go to sleep on her own in the evening without being nursed to sleep. So, I read it and tried some of the techniques. It helped a little. I do remember a lot of crying when we tried to put her to bed without nursing. She would be crying upstairs and I would be crying downstairs- not fun.
When Arianna was born I knew I needed to do things a little differently than I had with Emma because now I had 2 babies to take care of and a husband who was gone every evening working on schoolwork, so I could not nurse Arianna to sleep. (Without an almost 2 year old sceaming at me or needing me or whatever) So, I inquired among friends on how they got their children on good schedules and got them to sleep well at night and was introduced to "On Becoming Babywise". This was a beautiful thing for me and my little Arianna. She did just what the book said; napped when it said she should nap and for as long as they said she should nap. She slept all night by 8 or 9 weeks and was happy as a clam.
So, when Grant was born I was going to do it 'right' right from the start. I was gong to have this baby napping, sleeping, eating just like the books say and just when I wanted him to. Weeeeelllllll. . .it didn't quite turn out that way. This little guy had his own ideas. Right form the start I would look for signs of sleepiness and would get him right to his crib. I would swaddle him right up and sing him a lullaby and place him in his crib where he peacefully drifted off to sleep on his own, right? NO!!!!!!! He would scream and scream and scream. People told me he probably had reflux. Maybe laying on his back bothered him. But I knew he didn't because he would lay on his back in the pack 'n' play out in the family room area for an hour or so at a time just looking around happy as can be. He knew when I was going to try to out him in his crib to sleep and didn't want any part of it. He would be drowsy and I would get him in his crib before he fell asleep and he would still scream- sometimes up to an hour or more!! I felt like a horrible mom letting him cry, but in the back, or front at this point, of my mind I had the words of all these baby sleep books telling me that if I did it right, they will sleep. The books said my baby should nap at least an hour at a time- even at a few weeks old. He wouldn't!!! They said he should eat right after he woke up, not before he goes to sleep. But, if he cries the whole time he is supposed to be sleeping, then it's time to eat again and of course he is going to fall asleep eating because he is exhausted from screaming. Argh! I about went crazy! Finally, a friend let me borrow her copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I really appreciated reading this book by a Doctor who actually studied sleep and hearing what he had to say. Unlike the other books that seemed to me to say there was a magic formula to put all babies on the schedule you want right away, this book told me some of the facts about sleep in infants and about how their brain develops and how sleep patterns develop. I liked this book because it was understanding of different parenting styles and told you that you would have to be patient with the baby's learning curve (and they are all different).
It told me that in most babies daytime sleep does not organize itself until between 12 and 16 weeks of age. (You mean it's okay that he is not taking hour and a half long naps already!?) I learned so many other things, too. It made me feel so much better. Amazingly, even though I was afraid that I "messed" Grant up somehow by trying to get him to sleep how I wanted him to right from the beginning, he started to sleep through the night by 9 or 10 weeks. (I kind of made him do that, too though- that is a story unto itself) Also, at 12 1/2 weeks he suddenly took a 2 hour long morning nap. Wow!! I couldn't believe it! Then a few days later he took a longer afternoon nap. He's coming around!
I sometimes wonder if my life would have been easier if I had never read any of these books. I don't think so. I guess it is all just a learning process.
Funny, after Grant started sleeping through the night, my 3 year old decided she needed to start waking up during the 5 'o clock hour! Urgh!!! We put an alarm clock in her room and told her she couldn't come out until it said 6 or 7 o' clock. It worked!
Well, hopefully, you don't have such a rough time with this as I do. I just know that the old adage, "If mommy ain't happy ain't nobody happy" is true. And this momma 'ain't' happy when I don't get my sleep!!!
Grant's first Christmas.
Watching Santa come through the door.
Not so sure about Santa. She started to bawl after that.
NO worries- Chocolate will make it all better! She got a little dinged up before vacation and there at the farm as well. Hence the line on her head.
Scott and Kenneth lifting Santa up
Arianna opening her gift. She was pleased.
Arianna building her house.
Emma really enjoyed the Gingerbread house building activity. She did a pretty good job!
The girls didn't so much like the sledding activity. Notice the pouting faces.
Here are the 3 cousins who are all born within 2 1/2 months of each other. Lydia, Benjamin and Arianna. Arianna was having a bad hair day!
Grandma reading to all my children.
The girls out by the tractor- that's Grandpa on the tractor pulling the bale chopper.
Riding in the tractor with Dad.
Tromping out in the snow.
